Month: November 2020

Personal Letter to Jesus

My confessor told me to write to you, Teacher, to make it personal and pleasing to Your eyes. I knew not what to say. He gave me some suggestions, such as what happened to my car recently. I’ll start there.

The Highway Maneuver:

On Monday, I was headed to Ocala, after pulling out of a gas station in Gainesville. I couldn’t have been on the road more than 20 minutes, when just like that, my engine froze. I was in the fast lane, cruising about 70 mph. But, the odometer gradually dropped at a steady pace. I put my foot to the pedal, but nothing happened. While looking in the rear view mirror, I realized I’d better get off the road. Thank you, Father, for making this an easy transition.

This is where I was stuck, on I-75, for about two hours on Monday. Pretty sky, but not really a great place to land.

Moving from one lane to the next wasn’t hard — It was easy and smooth. I saw some guardrails up ahead and got a little concerned. Should I jam on my breaks and pull over now, or just pull off next to the guardrails. I opted for the guardrails, hoping that maybe I could clear them. Lo and behold, You made it so. Thank you, Master. Your works are merciful and sweet to my existence.

The stop, call, worry and reward:

Once safely on the side of the road, I called my friend to let her know I probably wouldn’t be able to make it, as I my car just died. She was worried, and I had to assure her I was safe and all would be well. After our 15-minute conversation, we hung up, and I called AAA Roadside assistance. That was an ordeal because of Covid, among other things, such as my recently lapsed policy, and the dispatcher not being able to locate my exact coordinates. Thank you, Teacher, for giving me the wherewithal to use my GPS to help him find me. Your wisdom is unsurpassable and sacred, and I praise You with all my heart.

The Wait:

If you, the reader, have ever had to use Roadside Assistance, you know how long the wait is. I don’t think I’ve ever waited less than an hour. After speaking with Frank and getting the ticket in motion, it was all just a matter of time. The sky was crystal clear, but the inside of my car was hot. So, I got out. After walking to the other side of the car with my rapidly depleting phone battery, I quickly took a picture of where I was and posted it on Facebook.

It was a beautiful day. There was not a cloud in the sky. There’s an old sportsman’s saying that goes like this: The bluebirds like to come out an play when there are no clouds in the sky. And, so they call it a bluebird day. Thank you, Jesus for making my day so glorious.

The ride/not ride:

Since Covid changed everything, AAA no longer allows members to ride in the truck anymore. But, the driver was nice enough to drop me off at the nearest truck-stop. I saw some shady characters hanging around and decided not to wait in the front. I walked to the shaded side of the building, where a ramp makes its way from the door to the side. No sooner had I parked myself up against the building and pulled out my phone, when I saw a shadow walking down the ramp.

It startled me, but there he was — Lindburgh, 88 — a big brawny man wearing a stark white t-shirt — came into view. He looked at me and instinctively knew, I guess. He asked why I was there. I pointed to the AAA truck pulling out of the parking lot and said, “There goes my car.” He offered me a ride to Gainesville in his sleek Dodge Charger, and I accepted. Thank you, Rabbi, for putting the right person in my path and the exact right moment. Your gifts do not go unnoticed. I praise you, O Lord, and I thank you.

The end result:

The next morning, I talked to my serviceman, Dave, who informed me that my engine froze. “Ugh,” I thought. “I guess I need a new car.” Not so fast though, the Lord whispered. Dave followed up by saying, “The good news is, it’s covered under warranty.” The KIA dealership later informed me that some models had trouble with their engines, so they just decided to give a lifetime warranty. Yeshua, thank you! You made my day. Praise God! “Take Lord, receive all my liberties, my memory, my understanding and my will. Your love and your grace are enough for me.” (Saint Ignatius Loyola)

Your loving servant.

Moi

God is love…

I must be overly sensitive. Less than two weeks ago, I had cataract surgery. When the doc scraped out the old lenses on the outsides of my eyes with a laser, it left scar tissue. And, now I have crescent-moon-shaped obstructions on the periphery of both eyes. He tells me they will probably go away in about 8 weeks. But still. Not everyone gets it. He says it’s a phenomena of over-sensitivity.

This photo of, a North Central Florida sunset, was taken earlier this year. SA

Yesterday was election day, November 3, 2020. My day consisted of noon Mass at Saint Augustine Catholic Church and Student Center, adoration right after and a Radiology visit at Shands Hospital, for an MRI brain scan. My surgeon wanted to check for tumors in my inner ears. It wasn’t a pleasant experience.

During adoration, however, I was able to go deep into prayer, which for-the-most-part has been hard to come by, in these recent past few months. I prayed for my sisters and brothers all over the world and for the salvation of sinners. I prayed for myself and felt a deep soulful sadness for my past sins. And, I cried. It was getting close to my appointment time. So, I gathered my thoughts and left.

When I got to the Radiology Department, I was met by a young, female tech. She took me back, and this is what happened: First, two young, sweet female techs stripped me of all my clothes, shoes, hearing aids and jewelry, right down to my scapular medal. They put an I-V into my vein to inject dye while being scanned. They said it would go in, at about the halfway point. And, yes I felt it, in my arm and in my neck. And, yes. In the end, I was dizzy when they tried to help me up, thanks to the I-V shot-full-of-dye into my brain.

They asked if I had any last words. lol. I said, “Well, it’s election day, so I’ll always remember it.” Then, they placed me on a tiny, hard, fiberglass bed with a hard plastic box for my head. They handed me foam earplugs and fitted me with earphones. (You know … the kind singers use when recording songs in a studio). Picture my head inside a hard plastic box with these huge earphones on. It was an extremely tight fit. I had to keep getting up to reposition them to alleviate the painful pressure on my ears. It didn’t work. And, since it never did, I just went with it. I couldn’t fathom staying there a minute longer than necessary.

Next, they put cloth over my eyes and fitted me with what-they-called a helmet. It was really a hard, plastic face-mask that went from the top of my scull to below my chin. And, it was less than a half-inch from my face. I was now fully imprisoned and unable to move. They slid me into the magnetic resonance machine and told me it would take about 30 minutes. THIRTY MINUTES! It’s a good thing this wasn’t “my first rodeo.” I would never have survived. But, survive I did. They had music on, and they tried to talk to me, but I couldn’t hear a word. I couldn’t move and thank you, Jesus that I couldn’t see a thing because I’m sure claustrophobia would have kicked in.

So, I chose to talk to God. “Father,” I said. “You have my full attention. Please let me know your will? Your servant is listening?” Immediately, I heard in that tiny voice in my head, the words, “I love you.” Tears streamed down the sides of my face. Yes, I cried. My heart was full, and formed, and painfully joyful and sad all at the same time. God is my confidante, my hero, my Lord and savior, even during times of distress.

Thanks be to God!

Added Note: On Thanksgiving day, November 26th, a friend, a mentor of mine made me realize — after sharing this story with her — that God had a full part in calming me down with his loving words of wisdom. I was on the verge of an anxiety attack when He told me he loved me, and from that point on, I was still and calm and safe. When I came out of the MRI, the technicians said I was very still for the full half hour. I never realized it was because of the grace of God that this happened, until my friend informed me of it. Thanks be to God!!!