This afternoon as I was getting ready for church, I never suspected any out-of-the-ordinary experiences would occur this evening. But they did. I am still in awe and shock of God’s graces and His willingness to do extraordinary things in my life.
Here they are...
- I went to confession, which in-and-of-itself isn’t extraordinary. What I said to the priest — and what his response was — is the real story. I confided in him how I had a hurtful experience, which occurred about four months ago. I said that I had forgiven all of the people involved but I was still dealing with the anger and the hurt.
- He told me keep my eyes focused on Christ, which I am doing. I responded that wasn’t a problem for me and I am trying to practice this every day.
- At the end of confession, I told him that he must give me a penance. He said, “Your penance is to treat them with charity the next time you see them.” I told him it wouldn’t be a problem for me, since I never see any of these people anyway.
- I went to the Adoration Room, and prayed the Divine Mercy Chaplet. Mass was starting, so I left and went to find a seat in the church.
- On my way there, I realized that the priest who was celebrating the Mass had begun a prayer, so I stopped and stood along the back wall.
- Just I as stopped, a couple walked into church and took a seat near me. I glanced over and saw that it was Sue. Do you remember her? She was one of my closest friends, whom I mentioned on my “other blog site” (name was changed, of course). Sue and I are no longer friends, and I grieve that loss.
- She glanced around and saw me, just as I was looking away. And, when she saw me, she did a double take, to which I responded with a slight wave of the hand, and she returned a wave as well. Whew, I thought. There was my penance, all wrapped up with a slight wave of hand, all wrapped up in a spiritual bow. Done!
- I soon walked behind them and found a seat near the back, in the center isle. (Let’s assume, for a moment, she watched me be seated). I placed the book I was carrying and my iPhone, in the slot of the pew in front of me. (Let’s assume she saw that too).
- The priest celebrant directed everyone outside to welcome the Catechumens and Catechists.
- On the way back into the church, I saw my confessor holding the door open for me. Well, not just me — the whole congregation. I whispered in his ear that I just saw two of the people who I confessed about. They were here and how apropos this whole surreal event was. I also noticed that Sue and her husband took seats almost directly behind me instead of going back to their original seats.
- I was shaken, but I had to return to my seat because I left my belongings there. I couldn’t dismiss the fact that they were right behind me. I was oddly uncomfortable, and I wondered how I was going to “handle” the “Sign of Peace,” which is when all Catholics greet each other with a handshake, during the Mass, and wish each other goodwill and peace. It frightened me to think I would have to look right at her because I had not yet done so, since we parted ways.
- During the “Sign of the Peace” I conjured up enough courage because that’s what the priest told me to do for penance. Although frightened, I turned. There was his hand, waiting for me to shake. So I did. With a downward glance, I shook his hand and wished him peace. There was her hand. Coward though I was, I took her hand, shook it and with a flick the eye, I followed her arm all the way up to her eyes. We locked eyes and said “peace.” It was probably the most difficult thing I had to do in almost four months. I cried. Tears rolled and I couldn’t stop them. It was then that I realized I still love Sue and her husband, but I cannot share that love with them. Not in a real way. Only for a moment.
At the end of the service, I picked up my “stuff” out of the slot and left my pew as soon as the mass was over. Instead of going out the back way, which would mean I’d have to walk passed them, I went back to adoration, which was in front of me.
During those few minutes in the Adoration Room, I read from the book
“Divine Intimacy” on the subject of Fortitude. I also sang a few songs, which filled my soul with wonder and awe. God’s graces are amazing. Instead of being a “holy instant,” the whole mass and afterwards was a string of holy moments, one after another in unison with Christ.
God Bless you, my friend.
Peace!