I remember the first time I felt the Holy Spirit in my heart during Thanksgiving dinner. It was in 2018, a mere 7 months after my second conversion, which occurred on Divine Mercy Sunday. It wasn’t like any ordinary Thanksgiving.
Amazingly, even after 7 months, I was still full of the Holy Spirit in thought, word, deed and emotion. And, the feelings of fervor were strong within me.
I wrote about all those experiences (on and earlier blog: smarieack@livejournal.com) but those blog entries were sort-of-like newsworthy accounts of what happened to me. I may have touched on feelings and emotions at the time, but it was merely coincidental.
Here I wish to communicate the actual feelings, if I may, and show how these teachings of the Holy Spirit accompany them.
It was early in my second conversion, maybe a month or two later, when I first realized that the Holy Spirit was *visiting me* and would be my personal guide and teacher. I was struggling with some strong negative nameless issues and wondering how I would ever overcome them. Little did I realize God was listening to me and hearing my undirected prayer. He answered me. It wasn’t an answer in words; it was more like a prompting, or a vision. I performed an action and immediately, I saw a blue laser light in my mind’s eye. In case you’re just joining me, I’ve written about the lights in separate blog entry here: https://smarieack.livejournal.com/7133.html .
During this particular visit, I understood that the Holy Spirit was speaking to me in a wordless message, a message that I understood as “Everything is ok. Everything is good. You are my student and I will show you the way.”
And, he did. From that point on, whenever there was some specific learning experience in a book I was reading, or in an action I was performing, I seemed to receive a message (or a prompting) that it was right, just and good. I remember feeling in awe — always in awe — of the revelation. It was always a surprise to me, and I always thanked him without measure.
On Thanksgiving day, in 2018, I happened to be having dinner alone at a nearby Cracker Barrel. The place was packed. The wait was way over an hour, but I had nothing else planned and no where to be. I sat in one of the rockers outside, waiting for my turn. As faith would have it, I was calm, content and mildly curious about what was going on around me. There were families, lots of families, and friends and relatives standing around, waiting for their turns. I remember wondering about them, and watching mildly as they each, in turn, left my line of sight.
Then, my name was called and I too entered the doors into yet another little world. The waitress brought me to my seat, where I was surrounded by more families. I was very happy that day to just be alone with God. When my biscuits arrived, I said my grace and tasted the first bite. The taste in my mouth was upwards of heavenly. It was truly not a taste of worldly pleasure. It was otherworldly, almost extraterrestrial. I remember looking up, and saying, “Thank you, Father, for this gift.” It was unlike me.
I was over-the-top thankful, and extremely happy to be exactly where I was in that moment.
Today, it’s a rare thing for me to not say grace. I do it almost always. I may not have that celestial feeling like I did on Thanksgiving Day, 2018, but I thank Him every day. I give Him praise. Sometimes, I even hold my plate up in the air, like a priest does at the Eucharist. God is always with us. He should be thanked. He gave us everything. We are His servants and He will never leave us.
God Bless you.
Peace!