A Quote by Yves Raguin
“While searching for God, we cannot find Him unless He wills it. We can understand ourselves by an intuition, but, if God refuses to reveal Himself, we will not find in this intuition any vista opening to the mystery of God. But by allowing Himself to be sought, God has already opened up a path to those who seek Him. It is sufficient for the soul to recognize humbly that it cannot find God without His Light.”
When I began writing this blog, in 2014, I never dreamed I would have gone so deep into spirituality as to make a vow to write about my interior life. But, here I am, doing just that. And, so, I am awake at 1 a.m., because of a call, so-to-speak, to pen a consolation I received 2 nights ago.
I didn’t expect it and don’t know why I was given the great gift of receiving it. But, it happened. And, so I must write it down for future authority. (not sure where that word came from, but <shrug>). In fact, it didn’t even occur to me to write it into my blog until just now.
I shut off the light and closed my eyes. I knew I had to be bold in my prayer that night. For some reason, I was able to achieve deep contemplation. In my prayer, I swam down through the depths of my soul and lingered there. I spoke an indescribable plea to God that went something like this. “Lord, if you find it in your heart to make yourself known to me, even though I know I am not worthy, please let me know you are here.” I cannot write the words verbatim because I don’t really know (or can’t remember) what all I said. I only know it was one of those rare moments, when you know you’re praying the good-fight prayer; the closest thing you can get to true honesty.
Then, I saw, in a flash of white light, a white sword come down upon my head, in the midst of all those words. It only lasted for a millisecond, but in my closed-eye vision, I felt a kind of a wound in my heart, the kind that they sometimes talk about in books. It wasn’t painful to me. It was almost a pang of longing love. And, I began to cry.
For now, that’s all I got. Peace!